I feel so afraid. Why do the people whom I look up to end up looking up to me instead?

From my best friends, superiors (both work and npcc), colleagues and God knows who else. I'm always obligated to help others but I dont want people to look up on me. I'm just a simple man whose main purpose in life is to serve. Honestly, it has a detrimental effect which I have yet to cope with and that is upholding standards expected of me. It hardly gives me any time for myself or pushes me beyond my own limits. I dont mind having to keep that up but I need someone to look up to as well.

A role model. A confidant.A mentor.An advisor. I could use someone like that now.

Funny how I'm turning into an adult in 19 days and am still scared like this. Funny how all these sentiments seem to echo of someone who is becoming increasingly dear to me.

Then again, Its not funny because I think its why our paths crossed.