Okay.. I was sitting blankly for a while.
Yesterday, my brother asked me again what I wanted for my birthday.
The thing about turning into an adult now...makes me want things to revolve less around me.
Turning into an adult just simply means your actions NEED to be correspondingly greater. Those correspondingly greater acts are for others.
Just to get it straight..even the smallest act can be great. The most generous act is an act of selflessness. The beneficiary of such acts will NEVER comprehend its greatness because its beauty is beyond anything we can see or feel. A simple birthday wish, prayer, letter or feeling for another is truly a breathtaking thing even to God.
"When a man commits a good deed, it is recorded in his life as 700 good deeds. When a man commits a bad deed, it is recorded as one bad deed"
If I'm considered a great man, it is only because the people around me are greater. The love, beauty, light and weight of every good deed that emanates from them simply reflects off me. I am always ever eternally grateful to the people in my life..be it acquaintances, colleagues, close friends, best friends, family or relatives and so on. The list is endless.
So my first adult birthday wish goes out to everyone.
That you may live to the best of your lives and that I may serve you to the best of mine.
With that being said, here a shoutout to you Jo.
After reading your blog COUNTLESS TIMES, I truly hope you wont go into that emo state all the time. It just hit me that I should give it to you.That rosary is used to keep count of our prayers or say our prayers while counting them. I gave it my blessings and hope it keeps away your worries. Keep it with you whenever you're in doubt or despair. Counting the beads will help too but I'm sure you'll figure something out about it one day =) ahh...there's so much more I want to say but I'll save it eh? kinda premature to say now lah.
From yours truly =)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
STUPID INFLEXIBLE YACHT CLUBS AND CRAZY RENTAL PRICES!
@$#!%?&$^
THE PHOTOS OF PEOPLE SEA FISHING AND ENJOYING THEMSELVES MAKES ME EVEN MADDER!
I SHALL GO OUT TO SEA BEFORE THIS YEAR ENDS!
I SHALL SEA-FISH MY HEART OUT WITH THE FISHING GODS UNTIL MY ROD SNAPS AND MY LINE BURSTS!
I SHALL NAVIGATE OUT AT NIGHT AND GAZE UNDER THE STARS WHERE NO ONE EVER GOES!
I SHALL BE AN ORANG LAUT aka..PEOPLE OF THE SEA! (eh no wait...mom will kill me)
So it shall be written and so it shall be done!
Phew.
On the plus side, at least my brother is keen on co-owning a boat with me. Funny how the bond between siblings work eh? I didnt realise he's been researching for new and used boats for sale. He apparently went to the same websites and bookmarked the same boats as I did.
"sorry I cant buy you a boat yet for your birthday"
Dont be crazy man! Everyone, especially mom, will go ballistic on you!
(as if he reads this blog. I still wonder who reads all this anyway)
Anyway,
I hereby proclaim the commencement of "Operation Loveboat" sounds wrong but it just means owning a boat in the future! Wonder who else is keen to co-own a boat?
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Funny how the world can twist and turn itself upside down.
Funny how something so small is facade-d into something bigger
Funny how archetypes are broken by our own choices
Funny how much of a difference a simple conversation makes
Funny how someone changes your life because you are who you are
Then again, like I said before, its not funny because I think its why I'm here.
Thats for you Jo! (sounds nicer than jojo btw) hehe =)
Anyway, as I was facebooking, I came across a comment on my secondary schoolmate's wall who is now an officer in the SAF. It was "Congratulations bro!..I didnt figure you to be an officer since sec sch but well done anyway!". His reply was "Thanks bro..i guess its just my habit of being rebellious". The way I saw it though was that he stood firmly by his principles and spoke out when they were compromised. I realised that it was the same attribute that was displayed by a few former CIs and ex-cadets whom I've worked with and trained which made them go so far as officers in the SAF. All thoughts of bureaucracy, regimentation and politics aside, it was that ability to persuade both sides, followers and superiors, while not contradicting yourself that made them stand out.
Its that attribute which I lack in some situations. In fact, it was the only flaw that my Leadership and Character lecturer back in poly days found out about me.
"you're too quiet. you just need to speak out more"
But then again, if you cant practice what you preach and follow through on what you made good on, then in my mind you shouldnt even say it. Because the best form of leadership comes from one who leads by example in his own image, which in turn, garners the full potential of his followers.
And I realised its that flaw which has prevented me from doing things I could have done...which includes getting better grades and accomplishing tasks.
Funny how something so small is facade-d into something bigger
Funny how archetypes are broken by our own choices
Funny how much of a difference a simple conversation makes
Funny how someone changes your life because you are who you are
Then again, like I said before, its not funny because I think its why I'm here.
Thats for you Jo! (sounds nicer than jojo btw) hehe =)
Anyway, as I was facebooking, I came across a comment on my secondary schoolmate's wall who is now an officer in the SAF. It was "Congratulations bro!..I didnt figure you to be an officer since sec sch but well done anyway!". His reply was "Thanks bro..i guess its just my habit of being rebellious". The way I saw it though was that he stood firmly by his principles and spoke out when they were compromised. I realised that it was the same attribute that was displayed by a few former CIs and ex-cadets whom I've worked with and trained which made them go so far as officers in the SAF. All thoughts of bureaucracy, regimentation and politics aside, it was that ability to persuade both sides, followers and superiors, while not contradicting yourself that made them stand out.
Its that attribute which I lack in some situations. In fact, it was the only flaw that my Leadership and Character lecturer back in poly days found out about me.
"you're too quiet. you just need to speak out more"
But then again, if you cant practice what you preach and follow through on what you made good on, then in my mind you shouldnt even say it. Because the best form of leadership comes from one who leads by example in his own image, which in turn, garners the full potential of his followers.
And I realised its that flaw which has prevented me from doing things I could have done...which includes getting better grades and accomplishing tasks.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
I was reading through the old National Geographic magazines to find out if they had another articles of Meerkat Manor or something similar.
And found something else to bring up for the next S.O.A.R Usrah.
21st Century Slavery.
No, not the "slavery" that people describe while working. It's about real captured slaves in the world today. Much like those primitive times.
However, its not just restricted to slavery but of bondsmanship too.
I wont go into details of the articles. I was kinda shocked at its global scale. But it did not surprise me that all the SE Asian countries (except SG) had known records of human trafficking.
What bothers me though is what can the us and the Ulama do? It is something we must act upon but HOW?
Oh yes,
It just hit me.
If only I could find someone who could make lemonade like I do when life gives you lemons.
And found something else to bring up for the next S.O.A.R Usrah.
21st Century Slavery.
No, not the "slavery" that people describe while working. It's about real captured slaves in the world today. Much like those primitive times.
However, its not just restricted to slavery but of bondsmanship too.
I wont go into details of the articles. I was kinda shocked at its global scale. But it did not surprise me that all the SE Asian countries (except SG) had known records of human trafficking.
What bothers me though is what can the us and the Ulama do? It is something we must act upon but HOW?
Oh yes,
It just hit me.
If only I could find someone who could make lemonade like I do when life gives you lemons.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Today's sunday was super sunny! That made me perspire like mad for the whole day.
A well spent sunday nevertheless.
For the first time in months, I went back to the usual place between the goalposts. Cant say I'm pleased with myself but still rusty after handling a soccer ball with my feet instead of hands. Guess I'll stay in that position that I've been playing for since secondary school eh? =)
I went down to the Lee Kong Chian reference library (National Library) to look up charts for this Saturday's fishing trip. Kinda nervous about fishing in the open sea especially when the yacht club is near the anchorages. So anyway, other than browsing through the charts, I found the report on the commission of inquiry on the drilling ship Eniwetok that tangled up against the cable car lines back in 1983.
The report stated that a cable car was oscillating so violently that it did one complete somersault and three people were flung out of the car.
My God....two of them were killed but the third, a 22 month old baby survived.
Somehow that report served me as a stark reminder of the danger that boating/shipping possess. The fact that we should always never compromise little things that could endanger anyone including ourselves.
Goodness, the thought of that report is still stuck in my head. I felt so different after reading it.
God willing, nothing shall arise from Saturday's trip even though we'll be just off the coast
"In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth."
-Mahatma Gandhi
But to see the Truth, one must first confront that which is essential. His own fears. The fears that endear his brain to conjure a peaceful but entirely false vision.
Thus, it is he who tarnishes the beauty of the Truth and deceives himself.
Until he confronts fear with conviction,
He will always make his soul a prisoner of falsehood.
Thus making him a lifelong LIAR to himself
-Mahatma Gandhi
But to see the Truth, one must first confront that which is essential. His own fears. The fears that endear his brain to conjure a peaceful but entirely false vision.
Thus, it is he who tarnishes the beauty of the Truth and deceives himself.
Until he confronts fear with conviction,
He will always make his soul a prisoner of falsehood.
Thus making him a lifelong LIAR to himself
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Had a long talk with mother last night. spilling out everything after such a long time including the challenges I was facing
She could even sense my own feelings without me saying a word. Guess thats why they call it mother's wit eh? Surprisingly enough, her advice has never failed me before.
Why is it that my mother is always right?
She could even sense my own feelings without me saying a word. Guess thats why they call it mother's wit eh? Surprisingly enough, her advice has never failed me before.
Why is it that my mother is always right?
This post is dedicated to the woman behind the man whom she named after the highest garden in paradise.
Mother.
Stay close to your mother, for verily, paradise lies under her feet. After all, why would she have given the name of the highest garden in paradise? and single-handedly raise FOUR kids for 12 years ALL BY HERSELF?
I will never forget those random times where she would pull me aside and tell me "Always be a good person. You must always do what is right even if it means great difficulty"
After getting divorced in 1999, I thought everyone acted as though things were the way before. heh. I was probably too young to realise what was really going on their lives. They werent very communicative especially my eldest brother who hasnt talked to my sister since the divorce.
But I was so wrong. I was living in my own world.
My eldest brother kept locking himself in his room and only spoke to my mother and sometimes my eldest brother and myself once in a blue moon. My elder brother got into more trouble while my sis was fine but my grades got worse at school. (WHY IS IT THE GUYS WHO ALWAYS GET WORSE IN SUCH SITUATIONS AH?!)
In spite of those challenges, she pulled through without losing strength even once. She never lost courage. She never lost her devotion. How could a woman teach for 42 years, raise four kids single handedly to their peak (not yet me though) and remain more stalwart than a man? The answer is beyond my understanding.
The most surprising feature about mother is that...she is 60 BUT LOOKS ONLY 30! Everyone,except for my relatives, who have seen her refuse to believe she's 60. That she's only 30. eh, why is it the opposite for me ah? grr
But after today,
after hearing how weak her voice sounded,
after seeing how easily she tires,
after seeing how more lonely she has been,
after hearing her disappointment that my sister will move out soon,
I believe it is a sacred duty to look after our parents. But now, its sacred to me to follow in her image and somehow bring us all back together. If I was the eldest, it'd be a different story.
But for everyone's sake, I cant stop.
Now she has retired and my siblings all have stable incomes, that only leaves me in mother's care. Though I try to ease her burden by doing some housework and relying on my pay and spending more time with her, she doesnt seem complete. If only she'd be more open to us but when you love someone, what you can do for them is infinite whereas what you can say to them is limited. Even those famous three words mean nothing if so little is done. sigh
Like I said, true love is often unromantic (for couples) and often never made known.
Anyway, it's all about what we do to make things better. It scares me when she tells me that she's never done enough. I'd do what I can to give her a measure of peace, no matter how small. Because she gave all the peace she could have to us.
What a day it has been.
I feel worried,amazed,disgusted,horrified,appalled,grateful,fulfilled,pleased and disappointed all rolled into one
Mother.
Stay close to your mother, for verily, paradise lies under her feet. After all, why would she have given the name of the highest garden in paradise? and single-handedly raise FOUR kids for 12 years ALL BY HERSELF?
I will never forget those random times where she would pull me aside and tell me "Always be a good person. You must always do what is right even if it means great difficulty"
After getting divorced in 1999, I thought everyone acted as though things were the way before. heh. I was probably too young to realise what was really going on their lives. They werent very communicative especially my eldest brother who hasnt talked to my sister since the divorce.
But I was so wrong. I was living in my own world.
My eldest brother kept locking himself in his room and only spoke to my mother and sometimes my eldest brother and myself once in a blue moon. My elder brother got into more trouble while my sis was fine but my grades got worse at school. (WHY IS IT THE GUYS WHO ALWAYS GET WORSE IN SUCH SITUATIONS AH?!)
In spite of those challenges, she pulled through without losing strength even once. She never lost courage. She never lost her devotion. How could a woman teach for 42 years, raise four kids single handedly to their peak (not yet me though) and remain more stalwart than a man? The answer is beyond my understanding.
The most surprising feature about mother is that...she is 60 BUT LOOKS ONLY 30! Everyone,except for my relatives, who have seen her refuse to believe she's 60. That she's only 30. eh, why is it the opposite for me ah? grr
But after today,
after hearing how weak her voice sounded,
after seeing how easily she tires,
after seeing how more lonely she has been,
after hearing her disappointment that my sister will move out soon,
I believe it is a sacred duty to look after our parents. But now, its sacred to me to follow in her image and somehow bring us all back together. If I was the eldest, it'd be a different story.
But for everyone's sake, I cant stop.
Now she has retired and my siblings all have stable incomes, that only leaves me in mother's care. Though I try to ease her burden by doing some housework and relying on my pay and spending more time with her, she doesnt seem complete. If only she'd be more open to us but when you love someone, what you can do for them is infinite whereas what you can say to them is limited. Even those famous three words mean nothing if so little is done. sigh
Like I said, true love is often unromantic (for couples) and often never made known.
Anyway, it's all about what we do to make things better. It scares me when she tells me that she's never done enough. I'd do what I can to give her a measure of peace, no matter how small. Because she gave all the peace she could have to us.
What a day it has been.
I feel worried,amazed,disgusted,horrified,appalled,grateful,fulfilled,pleased and disappointed all rolled into one
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Checked the mailbox in the morning and my heart stopped for a moment. There inside was a letter for me with the SPF logo on the front! It turned out just to be an offer, not my enlistment. tsk
Anyway,I was randomly going through my old favourite songs on youtube and found out that this song was used at one's funeral!
Why on earth would Rooftops by Lost Prophets be used at a funeral?!
Anyway, here's the first song that I ever memorized as a kid. In fact, I still remember the entire song as clear as day. Reminds me to be thankful with what I have.If only I could dedicate this song to some people that could sure use this. But anyway, here's to who reads this blog. Just listen to it and you'll know why =)
Anyway,I was randomly going through my old favourite songs on youtube and found out that this song was used at one's funeral!
Why on earth would Rooftops by Lost Prophets be used at a funeral?!
Anyway, here's the first song that I ever memorized as a kid. In fact, I still remember the entire song as clear as day. Reminds me to be thankful with what I have.If only I could dedicate this song to some people that could sure use this. But anyway, here's to who reads this blog. Just listen to it and you'll know why =)
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
This should interest you jojo! Here's a few nice spots around Singapore including my old favourite in the past. Pasir ris park!
Kinda blur. it was much nicer in the past and you were nearer to those ship lights (the orange lights on the horizon) in your photo
Woodlands Waterfront Park
http://www.flickr.com/photos/53759314@N05/4974576042/
Guess where this is!
hehe.same place actually
Labrador park. great view during day and night. Think you've been here before
We'll go someplace someday eh =)
Kinda blur. it was much nicer in the past and you were nearer to those ship lights (the orange lights on the horizon) in your photo
Woodlands Waterfront Park
http://www.flickr.com/photos/53759314@N05/4974576042/
Guess where this is!
hehe.same place actually
Labrador park. great view during day and night. Think you've been here before
We'll go someplace someday eh =)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Growing up.
While reading the articles about youth gangsters, one sentence from the newspaper caught my eye. *it might not be exactly word-for-word but at least the gist is there*
"I joined a gang because I could not mingle well with my schoolmates. I often thought they were childish"
That sentence echoed sentiments of my own school days, yes even until poly days. The lack of maturity (primary sch days excluded) and decadence displayed by some people was just incredible. Oh wait, dont go thinking that the kid who said that is some bigshot who already thinks he's mature in primary school. Personally, I had those same sentiments at some point of time during my own school days..and I know better than to brush off the opinion of such kids.
Some kids have shown a level of maturity that stretches beyond their age...the trend (from what I see) is these kids come from dysfunctional or troubled families. Therefore, it is as though these kids are dragged into being young adults sooner thus they are more daring than the other kids. Because of this, they're often seen as more mischievous and delinquent. More often, these kids grow up to be VERY self-assured too!..almost displaying pure leadership qualities. BUT the danger lies within the fact that they are still young and need plenty of guidance ( this is what I'd like to call "Raw Talent"). They have yet to discern between what is right (and often difficult) from what is easy (and often wrong)
Anyway, the point is I realised how much I could have been like that misguided boy. To join a gang, to enjoy the company of elder people and do things that they perceive to be fulfilling. I realise how CLOSE I was to having misplace my sense of belief and trust.
Thankfully, after a few wake up calls and bad experiences, I was able to channel all that into the right path. I wont elaborate more here or this post will stretch like mad! hehe
Strangely enough, it is this past experience that makes me want to ensure that it doesnt happen to my own cadets...especially the headstrong ones. I've always been quick to reach out to those highly determined and forceful ones and ensure that all the 'raw emotions' are fine tuned; that they are focused on something beneficial for themselves.
I dont know why but I believe it is the responsibility..or rather the DUTY of those who have "walked the walk" to guide the younger ones along.
(FOUR out of the six Ds of Dunman were mentioned here. Daring, Discernment, Duty, Determination. How does diligence and discipline play in their lives? you DECIDE!)
Oh yes, believe me when I say that it is easier to counsel these headstrong kids than it is to counsel the childish ones. My former kindergarten headmistress can testify to that! Read on below and laugh yourself to death!
I had run out of my classroom to the canteen and waited there before the recess bell had rung. As punishment, my form teacher took me to see the headmistress. She was not in her office. I was told to wait there until she came while my form teacher returned to class. Being the kid that I was, I ran outside to the back of the headmistress office and waited just outside her open window. When the headmistress came in and seated herself at her desk, her back was to the window. Like a ninja, I climbed in and scared the hell out of her from behind. HAHAHA!
While reading the articles about youth gangsters, one sentence from the newspaper caught my eye. *it might not be exactly word-for-word but at least the gist is there*
"I joined a gang because I could not mingle well with my schoolmates. I often thought they were childish"
That sentence echoed sentiments of my own school days, yes even until poly days. The lack of maturity (primary sch days excluded) and decadence displayed by some people was just incredible. Oh wait, dont go thinking that the kid who said that is some bigshot who already thinks he's mature in primary school. Personally, I had those same sentiments at some point of time during my own school days..and I know better than to brush off the opinion of such kids.
Some kids have shown a level of maturity that stretches beyond their age...the trend (from what I see) is these kids come from dysfunctional or troubled families. Therefore, it is as though these kids are dragged into being young adults sooner thus they are more daring than the other kids. Because of this, they're often seen as more mischievous and delinquent. More often, these kids grow up to be VERY self-assured too!..almost displaying pure leadership qualities. BUT the danger lies within the fact that they are still young and need plenty of guidance ( this is what I'd like to call "Raw Talent"). They have yet to discern between what is right (and often difficult) from what is easy (and often wrong)
Anyway, the point is I realised how much I could have been like that misguided boy. To join a gang, to enjoy the company of elder people and do things that they perceive to be fulfilling. I realise how CLOSE I was to having misplace my sense of belief and trust.
Thankfully, after a few wake up calls and bad experiences, I was able to channel all that into the right path. I wont elaborate more here or this post will stretch like mad! hehe
Strangely enough, it is this past experience that makes me want to ensure that it doesnt happen to my own cadets...especially the headstrong ones. I've always been quick to reach out to those highly determined and forceful ones and ensure that all the 'raw emotions' are fine tuned; that they are focused on something beneficial for themselves.
I dont know why but I believe it is the responsibility..or rather the DUTY of those who have "walked the walk" to guide the younger ones along.
(FOUR out of the six Ds of Dunman were mentioned here. Daring, Discernment, Duty, Determination. How does diligence and discipline play in their lives? you DECIDE!)
Oh yes, believe me when I say that it is easier to counsel these headstrong kids than it is to counsel the childish ones. My former kindergarten headmistress can testify to that! Read on below and laugh yourself to death!
I had run out of my classroom to the canteen and waited there before the recess bell had rung. As punishment, my form teacher took me to see the headmistress. She was not in her office. I was told to wait there until she came while my form teacher returned to class. Being the kid that I was, I ran outside to the back of the headmistress office and waited just outside her open window. When the headmistress came in and seated herself at her desk, her back was to the window. Like a ninja, I climbed in and scared the hell out of her from behind. HAHAHA!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Got to stop blogging in the middle of the night. But then again..its the middle of the night that makes me have all these eurekas and epiphanies!
Reflecting back on Syafiq and myself discussed, there was one quote that will probably have an everlasting effect.
Ikut hati, mati (Follow feelings=die)
When making a decision, you have to put aside all presumptions and feelings, be it positive or negative first. You have to use your brain first, then your heart.
Quote from the movie 300....*FIRST!..you fight with your head! THEN..your heart!*
More than once I've got the bad consequences from decisions that followed from my heart. I've learnt from that especially a non personal incident in 2008 where I witnessed a man's death which resulted from a push.
That was all it needed. A push.
Sigh. Anger is one step away from D-ANGER
Then again, you need your heart as well because sometimes its all you got.
Use your brain and follow your heart. If the brain fails, then use your heart and trust yourself.
But if I'm wrong, then whats the difference between a human and an animal, the former supposedly having a higher level of intelligence?
Reflecting back on Syafiq and myself discussed, there was one quote that will probably have an everlasting effect.
Ikut hati, mati (Follow feelings=die)
When making a decision, you have to put aside all presumptions and feelings, be it positive or negative first. You have to use your brain first, then your heart.
Quote from the movie 300....*FIRST!..you fight with your head! THEN..your heart!*
More than once I've got the bad consequences from decisions that followed from my heart. I've learnt from that especially a non personal incident in 2008 where I witnessed a man's death which resulted from a push.
That was all it needed. A push.
Sigh. Anger is one step away from D-ANGER
Then again, you need your heart as well because sometimes its all you got.
Use your brain and follow your heart. If the brain fails, then use your heart and trust yourself.
But if I'm wrong, then whats the difference between a human and an animal, the former supposedly having a higher level of intelligence?
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I was tossing and turning in bed when I figured something out...I think.hehe
Love.
I hope the imagery I use will not be too difficult for most to understand. (eh wait, who reads this anyway?!)
Lets start by imagining a maze on a celestial plane. The whole world is involved in that maze. There are two ends, one of which is male and the other, female. To find love, a female and male at either end will agree to take the course of the maze and meet at the centre where something awaits them. Throughout that period of time, they can communicate with each other. The maze however, holds a few surprises in store besides dead ends. At some points, one has the ability to see where the other,who will be blind at that point, is heading. Since this journey is at the mutual consent of both parties, they'll guide one another and progress further to the centre..guiding and persevering over obstacles and dead ends. When one reaches a crossroad, he/she has to make a decision and go through with it. A decision MUST be made otherwise where would they go? Of course when it comes to dead ends, one has to turn back and choose the right path..but this time hopefully with the greater knowledge of the crossroad. Thus strengthening resolutions....or diminishing will.
The maze will take its toll though. If its a long maze, exhaustion creeps in. If its a short one, well....it must have been uneventful eh? Sometimes the maze is too long and the couple choose to give up on each other. Some end up getting stuck in that maze...lost until someone else chooses to go in to save them or they find their way out. Some retrace their steps back to start with mixed outcomes and wait until the moment for another time to go in again. Others never get out.
Some dont realise they're in that maze. Some fight to get out of it. Some fight to get to the centre. Some SOTONGS dont know HOW they got there in the first place!
There's a few things to take note
1) Choose carefully the person at the other end whom you wish to meet at the centre
2) USE YOUR EYES. One eye on the path of your chosen one and the other on your own path.
3) USE YOUR EARS. Hear what your chosen one is telling you and what you hear around you.
4) USE YOUR HEART. Dig deep within yourself and soul-search along the way aka PERSEVERE
5) USE YOUR BRAIN! Use your brain to do number 2,3 and 4!
6) Remember that you're not alone in that maze. There are those who help you get to the centre, there are those who stop you from doing so and there is Big Brother who is always watching...aka GOD
Finally, you cant tell whats at the centre though. You have to go in and find out with the person you choose. But I myself wonder what people experience at the heart of the maze.
Do they sit there and relate to one another what they've experienced at either end?
Do they look back and see what might have been if they had taken different paths?
But one thing I know for sure. Love is the journey in the maze which grows stronger as they reach closer to the centre. And when do they reach there, a part of their lives (or maybe the whole) is complete. Destiny.
Destiny is the centre of each person's maze. What lies there is unknown but it really depends on the journey Thats what matters the most.
*Disclaimer: your experience in the maze may differ. The maze could be a relatively easy one or difficult one. It could be a squarish kinda maze or a roundabout kinda maze etc etc. It depends on the person you choose to embark on this journey with to meet at the centre. hehe*
Love.
I hope the imagery I use will not be too difficult for most to understand. (eh wait, who reads this anyway?!)
Lets start by imagining a maze on a celestial plane. The whole world is involved in that maze. There are two ends, one of which is male and the other, female. To find love, a female and male at either end will agree to take the course of the maze and meet at the centre where something awaits them. Throughout that period of time, they can communicate with each other. The maze however, holds a few surprises in store besides dead ends. At some points, one has the ability to see where the other,who will be blind at that point, is heading. Since this journey is at the mutual consent of both parties, they'll guide one another and progress further to the centre..guiding and persevering over obstacles and dead ends. When one reaches a crossroad, he/she has to make a decision and go through with it. A decision MUST be made otherwise where would they go? Of course when it comes to dead ends, one has to turn back and choose the right path..but this time hopefully with the greater knowledge of the crossroad. Thus strengthening resolutions....or diminishing will.
The maze will take its toll though. If its a long maze, exhaustion creeps in. If its a short one, well....it must have been uneventful eh? Sometimes the maze is too long and the couple choose to give up on each other. Some end up getting stuck in that maze...lost until someone else chooses to go in to save them or they find their way out. Some retrace their steps back to start with mixed outcomes and wait until the moment for another time to go in again. Others never get out.
Some dont realise they're in that maze. Some fight to get out of it. Some fight to get to the centre. Some SOTONGS dont know HOW they got there in the first place!
There's a few things to take note
1) Choose carefully the person at the other end whom you wish to meet at the centre
2) USE YOUR EYES. One eye on the path of your chosen one and the other on your own path.
3) USE YOUR EARS. Hear what your chosen one is telling you and what you hear around you.
4) USE YOUR HEART. Dig deep within yourself and soul-search along the way aka PERSEVERE
5) USE YOUR BRAIN! Use your brain to do number 2,3 and 4!
6) Remember that you're not alone in that maze. There are those who help you get to the centre, there are those who stop you from doing so and there is Big Brother who is always watching...aka GOD
Finally, you cant tell whats at the centre though. You have to go in and find out with the person you choose. But I myself wonder what people experience at the heart of the maze.
Do they sit there and relate to one another what they've experienced at either end?
Do they look back and see what might have been if they had taken different paths?
But one thing I know for sure. Love is the journey in the maze which grows stronger as they reach closer to the centre. And when do they reach there, a part of their lives (or maybe the whole) is complete. Destiny.
Destiny is the centre of each person's maze. What lies there is unknown but it really depends on the journey Thats what matters the most.
*Disclaimer: your experience in the maze may differ. The maze could be a relatively easy one or difficult one. It could be a squarish kinda maze or a roundabout kinda maze etc etc. It depends on the person you choose to embark on this journey with to meet at the centre. hehe*
What comes our way is always the best.
Because Allah has made it so.
Rejoice!
Edit: I have to add this in. Just a few days ago I had a dream. I vividly remember small parts. In that dream, I was faced with something I had never experienced before. Since I assume there are no readers here, I shall let spill.
This is not the first time.
I was going up against something evil. What it was I cannot tell. A devil or jinn? I have no idea. Whatever it was, it was a test of my faith and courage. In that dream, the surah Al-Fatiha and Ayatul Kursi resounded within me. Like the first dream, I was saved. But at the end of it, there was a warning.
Jangan lupa sembahyang (dont forget your prayers)
Never before has that warning been so severe. I fear what would happen to the people I love if I lose. I am not afraid to die. I am afraid of what comes that cannot be helped.
Is this a first of many tests to come?
What does the Almighty have in store for me?
Well, All knowledge is with Him alone unless He chooses to divulge. But I take comfort in the knowing that God does not bear unto a man a greater pain than he can bear and all that comes our way is for the best.
Well, what has come our way speaks of the depth of strength and character of each individual eh? which explains why I often see the strengths of every individual..no matter how much they keep saying they're weak and have no strength or courage (SOUNDS SO FAMILIAR RIGHT?!)
Because Allah has made it so.
Rejoice!
Edit: I have to add this in. Just a few days ago I had a dream. I vividly remember small parts. In that dream, I was faced with something I had never experienced before. Since I assume there are no readers here, I shall let spill.
This is not the first time.
I was going up against something evil. What it was I cannot tell. A devil or jinn? I have no idea. Whatever it was, it was a test of my faith and courage. In that dream, the surah Al-Fatiha and Ayatul Kursi resounded within me. Like the first dream, I was saved. But at the end of it, there was a warning.
Jangan lupa sembahyang (dont forget your prayers)
Never before has that warning been so severe. I fear what would happen to the people I love if I lose. I am not afraid to die. I am afraid of what comes that cannot be helped.
Is this a first of many tests to come?
What does the Almighty have in store for me?
Well, All knowledge is with Him alone unless He chooses to divulge. But I take comfort in the knowing that God does not bear unto a man a greater pain than he can bear and all that comes our way is for the best.
Well, what has come our way speaks of the depth of strength and character of each individual eh? which explains why I often see the strengths of every individual..no matter how much they keep saying they're weak and have no strength or courage (SOUNDS SO FAMILIAR RIGHT?!)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I would have thought that work would distract me from something that I have so passionately served for 10 years. But its just not working.
I guess you cant truly leave behind the things you've sacrificed for. I try to get my mind out of the unit as my NS days are approaching and to be constantly worried about the state of the unit while I'm in Tekong (or HTA or Jalan Bahar) wont help.
I really want to start thinking about my own future now because I've given up so much in the past.
How now brown cow?
I guess you cant truly leave behind the things you've sacrificed for. I try to get my mind out of the unit as my NS days are approaching and to be constantly worried about the state of the unit while I'm in Tekong (or HTA or Jalan Bahar) wont help.
I really want to start thinking about my own future now because I've given up so much in the past.
How now brown cow?
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I feel so afraid. Why do the people whom I look up to end up looking up to me instead?
From my best friends, superiors (both work and npcc), colleagues and God knows who else. I'm always obligated to help others but I dont want people to look up on me. I'm just a simple man whose main purpose in life is to serve. Honestly, it has a detrimental effect which I have yet to cope with and that is upholding standards expected of me. It hardly gives me any time for myself or pushes me beyond my own limits. I dont mind having to keep that up but I need someone to look up to as well.
A role model. A confidant.A mentor.An advisor. I could use someone like that now.
Funny how I'm turning into an adult in 19 days and am still scared like this. Funny how all these sentiments seem to echo of someone who is becoming increasingly dear to me.
Then again, Its not funny because I think its why our paths crossed.
From my best friends, superiors (both work and npcc), colleagues and God knows who else. I'm always obligated to help others but I dont want people to look up on me. I'm just a simple man whose main purpose in life is to serve. Honestly, it has a detrimental effect which I have yet to cope with and that is upholding standards expected of me. It hardly gives me any time for myself or pushes me beyond my own limits. I dont mind having to keep that up but I need someone to look up to as well.
A role model. A confidant.A mentor.An advisor. I could use someone like that now.
Funny how I'm turning into an adult in 19 days and am still scared like this. Funny how all these sentiments seem to echo of someone who is becoming increasingly dear to me.
Then again, Its not funny because I think its why our paths crossed.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
A few random updates. I wonder if anyone has found this blog yet..especially jojo since I challenged her to find this.hehe.
1) PPCDL ATTAINED AT LONG LAST! With a combination of kind souls (my mother, the refresher instructor; Zul, the examiner; Mr Rosli who gave me a 3rd chance for berthing) I passed!. Surprisingly the wind and currents were stronger on that day which supposedly made the man overboard drill harder. However, thanks to liberal practice with zul in the afternoon, I retrieved the buoy in one attempt. Thank God. The berthing was a little unexpected though. The examiner asked for the boat to be berthed alongside the pontoon that was open to the harbour instead of berthing inside the marina. His reason was that it will be easier for us. But how can that be when the boat is rocking against the stronger-than-usual currents?!. its much easier in the marina where the only element to face up against is the wind! *doing!* But anyway...I pulled it off on the 3rd attempt and pretty much did okay for the oral test which was relatively short though. Now there's alot of people to take out to sea especially for one particular person whom I have to show the star-gazing spot!
2) I'm botak! woohoo! okay not really woohoo la but its a personal decision which I wont pen down here. However, this haircut serves as a self-reminder not to judge others from the outside.. because more than once, people have mistook or conceptualized me due to my haircut.
3) Good progress on my preparation for NS!. FINALLY 10 PULL UPS HAVE BEEN ACHIEVED! its funny how that came about though. It just so happened that I was able to do 10 pull ups on one day without any help. weird.
4) The right mind is an open mind. Whats your say?
5) Ya Allah, ever am I grateful to You for all that you have bestowed upon me. Guide me along the right path in life and prevent me from going astray
6) I want someone to be my role model. Someone whom I can look up to
7) FINALLY MY NYAA RESIDENTIAL PROJECT IS COMPLETE! Cert presentation this thursday
8) I'm so looking forward from 20-29 Nov. The Quest, soccerfiesta and CLDC all in one. What more can I ask?
9) Same as update No 5.
10) When will people learn to put their huge egos aside?
1) PPCDL ATTAINED AT LONG LAST! With a combination of kind souls (my mother, the refresher instructor; Zul, the examiner; Mr Rosli who gave me a 3rd chance for berthing) I passed!. Surprisingly the wind and currents were stronger on that day which supposedly made the man overboard drill harder. However, thanks to liberal practice with zul in the afternoon, I retrieved the buoy in one attempt. Thank God. The berthing was a little unexpected though. The examiner asked for the boat to be berthed alongside the pontoon that was open to the harbour instead of berthing inside the marina. His reason was that it will be easier for us. But how can that be when the boat is rocking against the stronger-than-usual currents?!. its much easier in the marina where the only element to face up against is the wind! *doing!* But anyway...I pulled it off on the 3rd attempt and pretty much did okay for the oral test which was relatively short though. Now there's alot of people to take out to sea especially for one particular person whom I have to show the star-gazing spot!
2) I'm botak! woohoo! okay not really woohoo la but its a personal decision which I wont pen down here. However, this haircut serves as a self-reminder not to judge others from the outside.. because more than once, people have mistook or conceptualized me due to my haircut.
3) Good progress on my preparation for NS!. FINALLY 10 PULL UPS HAVE BEEN ACHIEVED! its funny how that came about though. It just so happened that I was able to do 10 pull ups on one day without any help. weird.
4) The right mind is an open mind. Whats your say?
5) Ya Allah, ever am I grateful to You for all that you have bestowed upon me. Guide me along the right path in life and prevent me from going astray
6) I want someone to be my role model. Someone whom I can look up to
7) FINALLY MY NYAA RESIDENTIAL PROJECT IS COMPLETE! Cert presentation this thursday
8) I'm so looking forward from 20-29 Nov. The Quest, soccerfiesta and CLDC all in one. What more can I ask?
9) Same as update No 5.
10) When will people learn to put their huge egos aside?
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Apparently, blogger is now fully under Google which means I cant access my old blog as it was linked to hotmail instead.
Anyway, I was going into full retrospect and the weight of the ramifications resulting from the things I've done hit me full force. I'm not proud of what I have done. I am guilty and have no excuse for what has happened. I have no answer. I do not know how to mitigate. I feel absolutely horrible. Astarghfirullahalzim
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