An excerpt from the song "N Dey Say" by Nelly

i used to think that life had a plan for me
until i realized life had to be planned by me
see that's the key i only deal wit what i can see
cuz over history, mystery brought us nothin but misery

It was this part that made me recall the first time I heard this song a few years ago. The first two lines made realised how fragile, vulnerable and lost we'd be if we had no real focus of what we'd wanna be. The key was to start discovering ourselves first. Knowing what we love to do most, what values we uphold deeply, what qualities we demonstrate strongly and what character we portray clearly. I used to be doing many things because the core quality I was striving for was versatility. It sounds like asking too much for oneself to be versatile but it suited me pretty fine especially since it was only just secondary school. Juggling two ccas, relationship, friends and studies didnt seem too much of a hassle.

However, the third line clearly described what I was doing. I only dealt with what I can see. I didnt think about what would come after. To put it bluntly, there was no concrete idea of what I'd wanna do with my future. So I continued to chase myself to be versatile at a much higher level, thinking I would discover myself further in the process.

But it turned out quite........shit i lost my train of thought. Whats the word for 'shooting yourself in the foot'?
Anyway, the more I'd do, the more I questioned my own character and full purpose. What was worse is that most actions was done out of impulse, though much thought was placed into it. To be living life with such unplanned motives and direction truly is disconcerting. heh.

But these past few days, I've given a fair amount of thought of who I'd wanna be and what I'd have to be in mind,heart and soul.

Before I go further, what defines a simple life?